He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
