that's an acceptable place to lick
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
