it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
