it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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