ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize