Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize