I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
