Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
