Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
