Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
