If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize