Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
