Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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