if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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