So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
