The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
