I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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