were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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