haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize