so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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