i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Cover your peen. We're going out.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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