Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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