Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
