i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
