How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
