...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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