i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
