Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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