There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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