she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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