After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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