You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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