I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
