I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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