I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
