we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize