dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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