Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
