# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
