He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Come share oat with me in your robe
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
