Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize