question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
