There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize