You really coming over, don't trick.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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