Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
