It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize