This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
