508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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