you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize