Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
