I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
