1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
