I want to walk on stilts...naked
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
