One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
