But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
