That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
And then he peed in my hair
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