Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
