this beer tastes like vomit already
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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