Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I don't deserve a penis
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize