is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
