Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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