I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize