And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
