is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
