Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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