Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
