ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
