i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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