One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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