I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize