P.S. I can't hear my feet
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
