That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
