He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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