Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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