There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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