Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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