Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize