He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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