I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
her facebook's as public as her vagina
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
