like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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