Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
