ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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