i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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