do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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