i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
