Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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