Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
